Tag: doula

My First Birth Experience

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Despite having a deep interest in the anthropology of birth, I had never actually witnessed a birth. I had never been in the delivery room during the actual act of birthing a human being; I had only been present after the fact, when everything is cleaned up and mom and baby are tucked up in the hospital bed.

But a few days ago, I had the opportunity to shadow another doula while her client pushed a beautiful and wailing baby boy into the world. I had the opportunity to experience the sights and the sounds of birth: what it’s like to watch someone experience a contraction, what it looks like when a baby is crowning and how the baby’s head really does mould to fit its pathway, and how the placenta is delivered afterwards. Everything I had read about and listened to others describe, I finally got to see with my own eyes.

The passageway into this world is difficult. There was a moment when I saw the top of the baby’s head and thought, surely there is no way that a head that size can actually get out, this is crazy. The logical part of my brain knew that of course the baby would be delivered and everything would be fine. But there’s a certain level of mystery to birth, I think, that still allows you to wonder at the sheer impossibility of what you’re seeing even though you know that people have given birth for millions of years. 

Childbirth is difficult. Coming into this world is difficult. Pushing someone into this world is difficult. The whole process involves a lot of pain, blood, and amniotic fluid. But it can also involve support and encouragement, especially when you’re surrounded by loved ones, compassionate birth helpers, and a diligent medical team.

Ok, I know I’m getting mushy so let me move on and share moments of the birth that I am still processing.

A medical team that gives autonomy to the birthing person makes a huge difference. I’ll probably submit another post that goes into more detail about the practical (and very easy) ways to do this that I observed, and will doubtlessly have more comments on this subject based on the more I read and the more births that I attend. Suffice it to say, for now, that a supportive relationship can exist between a birthing person and their medical team.

The birth ball is a marvelous invention, but not everyone knows that a hospital might offer one (the same for peanut balls or squat bars). Don’t be afraid to talk to the nurse, or mention it to the birthing person. Birth balls can offer relief from pain and discomfort, and there’s also something nice about being able to move around but still be sitting for the contractions.

A knowledgeable doula is a valuable doula. I was amazed by the amount of information the other doula knew, and how comforting her knowledge was for her clients. I left the hospital with a firm reminder that it is incredibly important to always be learning. A doula may not technically be an academic, but we should never stop reading books, going to workshops, and sharing knowledge with each other.

The act of pushing is accompanied with a lot of support by the people surrounding the birthing person. Encouraging the person to push, telling them how, urging them on…all of it culminates into an intense social act. The pregnant person is the one physically pushing, but they are relying on the people around them to tell them not only when to push, but how. Is knowing how to push not as instinctual as knowing when? Is knowing when instinctual, but knowing how learned?

Everything changes once the baby is born. As soon as the baby cries, all of the pain and panic seem to just evaporate as if they weren’t even there to begin with. I couldn’t believe the difference between the two moments, only seconds apart from each other. I’m still processing how quickly such enormous amounts of pain can just be forgotten. Is there another moment in life where that can happen, or is this unique to childbirth?

Finally, if you are a person who has ever produced a baby, let me just say: you are a warrior, a testament to the strength and love that it takes to give life to something else. Whether you scream during a contraction or stay silent, whether you lose yourself in a moment of panic or don’t, whether or not you accept chemical or surgical intervention, you are a warrior. Don’t look back and feel like you didn’t handle things correctly, that you should have been stronger, braver, quieter, etc. I don’t know if there’s a way to handle things correctly. There is just you, doing the best that you can, doing this impossibly possible thing.

Why Go Doula?

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Once you learn what a doula is, your next question may or may not be: why should I hire a birth doula?

Maybe you’re also thinking:

I already have a birth plan all written out, so I don’t think I need any other help.

My partner/family/friends will be there so I don’t need somebody else in the room to witness me pushing another living being out of my birth canal.

Isn’t it enough to have my OB/GYN or midwife there?

These are legitimate thoughts. But let me offer a few reasons why a birth doula might be a little helpful.

I’ll start with the last one, because it is important: doulas are not medical professionals. Our purpose is not to tell you that it’s time for an epidural, or to read the results of a fetal heart rate monitor. We do not do cervical exams or prep you for a cesarean-section. The purpose of a doula does not include performing medical tasks.

So then, what’s the purpose of having a doula?

Although the attitude in America is that birth belongs in the medical sphere, it’s important to remember that birth is also deeply emotional. Birth can be tough mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Birth can be–and often is–overwhelming, and there may be times where you feel like you are completely out of control. The doctor/midwife, and the nurses are there to make sure that you are physically healthy, and that your baby is also healthy. They are doing their jobs. However, their job does not usually include time to make sure that you, the birthing person, are not feeling scared, overwhelmed, or disappointed.

This is where a doula can come in very handy. The doula is not checking test results or administering an epidural. The doula is giving you suggestions about positions that will alleviate pain, massaging your lower back, and making a point to check in with you about how you are feeling about everything that’s going on. The doula–unlike everyone else in the room–is not focused on you and the baby. The doula is focused on you.

Let me repeat, because I think this is important: the doula is there to focus on what’s going on with you. Of course your doula cares about what’s happening with your baby. But your doula knows that you have qualified doctors/midwives and nurses who are taking care of your baby. Your doula wants to help you have a birth experience that is not full of pain, fear, and confusion.

This leads into another reason doulas are useful: they can take the strain off of your partner/family/friends who are with you. Your loved ones might also be feeling scared or overwhelmed. They may not know what to do when they see you in pain. They may feel uncomfortable leaving you to get food, take a nap, run errands, or when they need a moment to collect themselves. The doula is there to reassure and calm your loved ones, and your loved ones can be sure that your doula will stay with you whenever they need to step out for a moment.

Your doula is also there to explain things that are happening and to help you process them. Maybe your birth plan stipulates that you don’t want chemical interventions, like an epidural. But then you labor for much longer than you thought you would and your doctor suggests an epidural. This may be a big deal for you, because you were determined not to have any interventions. Your doula will not make your decision for you, but they can be your soundboard and help you process changes in your birth plan. Your doula can remind you that birth can be unpredictable, and there is no shame when something like an epidural or cesarean-section become necessary.

Many reasons exist to have a doula. Some doulas have been trained in rebozo, aromatherapy, or prenatal yoga. Other doulas are also trained childbirth educators. Some doulas have experience with complicated pregnancies, so birthing persons who are already struggling with a complicated pregnancy can have the extra support.

So why go doula?

The decision is ultimately up to you, but I hope you know that the resource is open to you, and everything that is included in that resource. Everyone deserves to have support during their birth. Everyone deserves to have the knowledge and power to know if they do or do not want a doula.

A Little Bit About Me

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My name is Meredith Aulds and I am an anthropologist as well as a poetry enthusiast and proud dog mom. I love Dolly Parton and Shark Week on Discovery Channel. I just recently graduated with my Masters degree in anthropology and moved states to pursue my PhD, also in anthropology. I have completed the necessary requirements to attend births as a doula through DONA International and am working towards certification.

I am thoroughly, completely fascinated by childbirth. Since I am a biological anthropologist, I will specify that I am interested in human childbirth (as opposed to chimpanzee or gorilla, although squirrel monkey birth is pretty lit, so maybe humans and squirrel monkeys). I am in love with the evolutionary complexities of childbirth, how we are able to give birth to these large-brained, helpless babies that are so different from other mammals. I love how our pelvises have changed, how our behaviors have changed, how our social structures have shifted to accommodate our beautiful and unique methods of childbirth.

But how did a childless graduate student become so interested in childbirth? And how did those biological interests shift to include the emotional and social implications of American childbirth?

I was originally studying bioarchaeology in my Masters program. Bioarchaeology is, in a nutshell, the study of the past through human remains. Archaeologists will study pots or walls or weapons. Bioarchaeologists will study skulls, or teeth, or femurs. I was focusing primarily on osteology (i.e., the study of the human skeleton) and also took classes on evolutionary theory and biology.

While all of this was happening, my cousin became pregnant with her first child. She ended up having a beautiful and healthy baby via cesarean-section. While talking to my mom about the birth of my cousin’s baby, my mother said, “She had a C-section because the baby was too big.”

That statement changed everything.

I don’t even know if that’s really what happened. I never spoke directly with my cousin about it. Maybe I should, but her answer wouldn’t change the fact that, at that time, what my mother said completely blew my mind.

Why would a mother’s body allow a baby to grow that was too big to pass through the birth canal?

To me, it made no evolutionary sense.

I spoke to my Masters advisor about it. I read as many articles as I could about the anthropology of birth. My studies and my focus completely changed because suddenly I was thrust into the dynamic and ever-so-important realm of childbirth. Furthermore, I was introduced to American perspectives of childbirth, which rely heavily on technology and interventions (such as C-sections and chemical interventions, like epidurals).

Then, another piece of mind-blowing information:

The United States has the highest maternal mortality rate of any other developed nation.

To be clear, the number is still very low. It is rare for a birthing person to not survive birth in the states. Even so, the US has the highest maternal mortality rate and this is a statistic that shouldn’t be ignored.

With this information in hand, I started to study not only the physiological and evolutionary aspects of childbirth, but also the social. I started reading about home births and the benefits of using support, such as doulas.

Once I finished my Masters, I knew that I wanted to continue my education. I wanted to continue learning about birth, but I also wanted to be hands-on and experience childbirth in person. I wanted to do research that would help American women be in the healthiest birth space, both emotionally and physically. I decided that getting a PhD in biological anthropology and working to become a doula would be the best way for me to do all of that.

So here I am: about to begin my PhD, and beginning my career as a doula.

I am blessed enough to have found my passion early in life. I could talk about childbirth for hours. I hope to have children of my own in the future, if possible. I want to work with birthing persons, and to learn as much as I can about the physiology of birth and how we, as Americans, can better provide for birthing persons and babies. Childbirth is what gets my heart pumping, what makes my ears prick in a conversation. I love hearing birth stories and talking to birthing persons about their experiences.

Birth is a journey. Birth is a winding path that can be beautiful and dynamic. Birth is a testament to how strong people can be, how we can love something so much that we are willing to go through a hard, sometimes harrowing, experience. Birth does not always go as planned. Sometimes, there is a fork in the path and birth is not a good experience. Sometimes, birth can break your heart.

Childbirth is so many things to so many different people. So many stories exist, so many different types of journeys. The path is ever winding and goes in so many different directions.

The purpose of this blog is to discuss the journey of birth, as well as my journey as a birth doula.

The more we talk, the more we share, the more we will learn and the better our experiences can be.

I am excited to talk about this journey and I hope you will be, too!